The Critic's Voice

I applied for a job this afternoon, and in reviewing my cover letter, Mitch thought to reassure me by saying,

"you might be overqualified for what they're looking for
looks like they're after a highschooler or something
but i think what you wrote was good"

When I told Mitch how bad I felt at the thought that I was applying for a highschooler position, he was immediately apologetic, saying it came out wrong. That he didn't mean it in a bad way. But it was too late, the Critic went off in my head again.

Here you are again, 28, applying for an ultra entry-level job that a high-schooler could do, what is wrong with you? What happened to your career? And you're getting married next year? What, so you can live off your husband?

I am reading a book now about self-esteem and silencing that Critic -- the one who tears you down and calls you lazy, stupid, a failure, anything to make you feel inadequate and less than you really are. In recognizing that we have an inner Critic, we can learn to ignore it, deem it irrational, somebody separate from ourselves that tends to exaggerate. We can then listen to the voice of reason, the compassionate voice that understands our unique predicaments without tearing ourselves. It encourages to be okay with who we are.

So, what does the compassionate one tell me?

Look at you! With your free time, you have been keeping busy meeting new friends, teaching ESL to adult refugees, planning a wedding -- WHICH IS NEVER EASY -- and learning that in order to go after something better, sometimes you need to reach a low. Don't listen to the Critic. Applying to this job is a good thing, a brave thing. Rather than sit on your ass and do nothing, you are willing to try and be involved in a project that could shape the future of Seattle. It will allow you to network, to meet like-minded people, and to learn so many new things about what is going in this city. It's admirable. This is better than Boeing. You should congratulate yourself for not taking the easy way out.